Celebrate Yourself

Get ready to get your groove on!

Every day, you have choices to make.  

You may choose what you want to focus on for the day, which road to take to the office or what issue you want to tackle.  Making your decision, you start your day and – with focus and effort – you accomplish things.  You get a win.  One small one might roll into another, and then another.  And at the end of the day, you’re proud of what you’ve achieved.  You want to share the good news and celebrate it, so you call your coworker, friend or (insert a person here).  The news tumbles out in one excited jumble.  And how does the other person react?

Perhaps they’re as thrilled as you are, and you both are off to the races.  Most likely though, they are happy for you – but maybe not as happy as you hoped they’d be.  Or just maybe, they have a different take on your day.  Maybe they don’t see your win as a “win” after all.  Now, how do you feel?  Are you deflated?  Confused?  Let down?  Are you still as excited as you were before?  Does some of that joy come out of your voice, and do you move quickly on to the next chore on your to-do list?

People crave connections.  We’re social beings.  While I might be an introvert or you might be an extrovert, we all want to be understood.  Seen.  Validated.  Appreciated.  We look outward for reinforcement of whom we believe we are inside.   Our self-worth, whether its at the office, at home or in a relationship, may somehow be defined by what you see reflected back at you by another person. 

I say you are selling yourself short.  When you accomplish something good, you know in your heart that you have.  You can feel it in your bones.  You’ve done great work, hit a goal or laid the foundation of a great future, and you know it.  Feeling proud of yourself is a good thing, yet so many people get that pride of accomplishment confused with hubris.  Instead of believing in the work they’ve done, they feel guilty, so they turn outward for validation – for “approval” to be proud – and find themselves disappointed.  Their friend is distracted, thinking about their own issues, and not providing the feedback you want or “need.”

Positive feedback is a good thing, but there’s no guarantee you will get it.  That doesn’t diminish the moments when you know you’ve made a difference.   Hubris is one thing.  Overt or excessive pride with no true accomplishment, that’s another story for another time.  You know it when you’ve done something good.  That’s a feeling that’s weighty, sits deep and resonates.  You don’t need anyone else’s permission to celebrate your job well done.  Throw back those curtains of self-doubt and celebrate yourself.  Then do more great work, and celebrate again tomorrow.  

In fact, everyday you can choose to accomplish something great and celebrate it again.  You deserve it, and your friends – those true ones – probably know a good party when they see it.  They won’t want to miss out on this one.

Agents in the Zombie Nation

It’s Friday, and I have that “Friday feeling.” After the work week adrenaline rush, I’m spent.  Mentally and creatively fried actually.  I need to recharge my creative juices.  And what did I come home to?

_{Both of my boys were bouncing off the walls, full of energy.  Trying to calm the storm, I asked them about their day.  Luke (my 3 year old) shared with me that he and Olivia played “Agents” at school, and promptly began to demonstrate the main point of the game: press yourself against a wall, look around furtively, then run and hide around a corner.  Pretty fun at 3. But not nearly as fun as playing “Zombies” I soon learned, as my 5 year old lurched up and down the hall, moaning and dialing his “Zombie Mom and Dad” on an invisible phone.  Soon, Agent Zombie Mom was lurching up and down the hall as well, singing “Secret Agent Zombie” (I know you can hear the tune in your head) at the top of my lungs.}

_{How many times have you watched children play?  It’s a trip.  Toys are nice, but every parent knows that if you give a kid a cardboard box, it’s going to become a tent, then a train, then a cave, a boat or a turtle shell.  And when two children meet for the first time, after a few minutes they’re best buddies climbing a pirate ship or on a great adventure.  Creativity flows freely.  Their minds know no bounds.  There are no limits or obstacles to what they will create with their imagination.  Their dreams are big and loud.  It’s beautiful.  You dreamed loudly too, and so did I.}

_{And somewhere along the way, as you get older, the dreams get quieter.   They’re a little smaller.  You may lose that reckless abandon or your dreams are more cautious.  You may be afraid to try.  You tell someone that you can’t sing or don’t dance well.  You can’t draw.  You don’t like your hair.  You’re not creative.  Whatever your personal “can’t” is, it follows you.   It saps you.  It drains you, and you end up with that “Friday feeling”… looking for a recharge, but why?}

_{Someone along the way told you “you can’t.”  And it was probably someone older than you were – someone trapped in that Friday feeling – and it got passed on to you.  Now, you pass it on.  But I say “you CAN.”} 

_{You can sing.}

_{You can dance.}

_{You can draw, and you can dream.}

_{You are creative, if you give yourself permission to be you.  Give yourself permission to try, to make mistakes, to be embarrassed or scared or frustrated.  Move through that frustration and move on.  Even if the Friday feeling starts dragging you down, your mind is still powerful.  You are a creative being with endless energy.  I know you are.  After all, you were a kid once, and so was I.} 

_{When I was young, the floor was hot lava.  The couches were islands which we leapt across to be safe (sorry, Mom).  The bed was a raft that we were sailing down the Mississippi.  And tonight, I was an Agent in the Zombie Nation – so energized from letting the day go that I had to sit down and write this.}

_{You can.  You can.  You can.}